Florida

I've debated a lot about writing a blog post about my time in Florida. But since I've had a lot of people asking and I've always been open about things with my dad before, here it goes..

After contacting my dad for the first time three years ago, I feel like this journey has finally come to an end. I took a week and a half off school to meet my 14-year-old sister Abbie, and step-mother Caroline in Orlando Florida.

I arrived in Orlando on the same day as them and our initial meeting was in the airport food court. In movies, things like this are portrayed as very dramatic, emotional, and maybe even awkward. But it wasn't. I found them sitting at a table, gave all three of them a hug, and then Abbie and I went to buy some McDonalds for dinner. And just like that, I wasn't living half my life in the shadows anymore.

For the first three years of knowing my dad, Abbie didn't know I existed. It gave my dad and I a fair chance at getting to know each other without other factors coming into play, but it also meant that each time I went to London I stayed at my grandparents house, essentially hidden away from Abbie and the rest of my dad's side of the family. The only people who knew about me where my grandparents, my step-mom (although I had never met her) and the nice South African couple who lived across the street and came over for dinner anytime I was in town. I was being hidden away and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

But Florida changed that. I know my sister now; a typical teenager who loves snapchat and shopping. We bonded over a love for roller coasters and an ability to shop for hours while our dad sees a movie at the theater connected to the mall. We come from completely different backgrounds, and while we still barely know each other, we have the rest of our lives to solidify a bond.

I'd be lying though if I told you the trip was all sunshine and happiness. It was both Abbie and I's first time seeing our dad with the other and we both struggled in our own ways. All I hear when I tell people these stories is "That's so cool!" And while I agree, I think people forget about the not-cool parts of it. They overlook the fact that I grew up without my dad, only to find out that he has another daughter who he's fathered since she was born. Or the fact that spending time with them means hearing stories about their annual father/daughter christmas date into downtown London and trips to their vacation house in Spain. It means hearing about what could have been, had my dad been in my life for my first 18 years.

That doesn't mean I am hostile about anything though, it only means it's hard. I think meeting Abbie and Caroline went at smoothly as possible, given the tricky situation. I guess next up is meeting the aunts, uncles and cousins. Wish me luck, and thanks for reading!